encourage me
How would this feel different if I had put the “Sirius Black! When will you...” line inside a narrative frame, with an imaginary abusive version of Lily saying it, instead of Sirius saying it directly?
Approximate readability: 5.67 (158 characters, 35 words, 3 sentences, 4.51 characters per word, 11.67 words per sentence)
SIRIUS: She always used to do that... walk in on me, say my name...
Sirius continues talking over Harry. Zir voice has become less neat, more ragged-looking.
SIRIUS { imitating what Lily might say }: Sirius Black! When will you show some respect! You're disgusting... pathetic... Sirius Black! You've failed us... So you thought you were clever enough to fool Lord Voldemort all by yourself... We had all of Dumbledore's protection, and you ruined it, Sirius Bla–
PAST HARRY: Lily never said that! You're off your gourd! { "off your gourd" is slang for "insane" }
Sirius leans over in the bed and reaches towards Harry.
SIRIUS: W-who are you? Are you J–
HARRY: I'm Harry, their–
SIRIUS: You look like Lily... But you have James's eyes...
Sirius touches Harry's face. Harry looks surprised for a moment. Then Harry pulls away in disgust. The next thing we see is Harry standing outside the house with the Auror who brought zem.
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